Inspiration
A reflection of my thoughts …
Be yourself!
It can be challenging to simply be yourself, right? Especially when something or someone is important to you.
While I do believe it is important to bring effort and commitment into your actions, there is a significant boundary you should not cross, from my point of view:
• When it makes you feel deeply uncomfortable.
• When it goes against your integrity.
• When you have to pretend to be something or someone you are not.
This applies to job interviews, business relationships, and yes… also to your partner or potential partner, as well as similar encounters.
You might fear that you will not be accepted, appreciated, or even loved if you show your true self. The truth is, it is possible that you may lose people who were attached to a certain version of you. But remember… if they do leave, then they did not truly appreciate or love you anyway, but rather the image of yourself you had presented to them.
While it can feel scary at first to show your true self to others, you will naturally begin to attract the people who resonate with the real you.
You then bond over the same music, movies, opinions, and whatever else matters to you.
Tell you what:
It feels incredibly freeing and enriching not having to maintain an image or version of yourself, that is not aligned with who you truly are. And you can then use the energy you had been investing in being someone else for something that truly matters to you.
Rejection as
Redirection
Rejection comes in many forms. But usually, they all have one thing in common:
We experience unpleasant feelings.
Pain.
It can be overwhelming to be rejected.
I won’t invalidate your feelings.
But let’s have a closer look at where they come from.
One source is that most of us had childhood experiences in which a form of rejection disconnected us from feeling safe. Either physically, emotionally, or both. Feeling pain, hurt, or even fear is important feedback that we are not aligned with what lets us thrive.
We often have not experienced the people who cared for us setting personal boundaries for self care in a child friendly, non violent way. So every time we are confronted with some form of rejection, many of us tend to feel the same fear and hurt we felt back then.
Looking at how these patterns have formed and how to overcome them is a crucial part of my coaching.
There is a different strategy for dealing with rejection in your life. Because life is not your enemy, nor is the reality around you.
Bashar said:
“Nothing has built in meaning in life. You give it meaning.”
If a door closes in any way:
if you do not get the job you wanted,
if you do not get the partner you were emotionally attached to,
if you did not catch the plane or train you wanted to take,
if someone does not buy your painting…
… it simply means that the situation you were in either reflected your
lack of alignment with success (worthiness, trust, confidence)
or
that there is something even better (more aligned) is waiting for you:
- a better job,
- a more fitting partner,
- a safer trip,
- a more appreciative buyer…
In my coaching, we would work on these steps:
- Analysing where the feeling comes from
- Finding out if you have limiting beliefs that are blocking your success
- Learning how to deal with the “redirection” a rejection truly is
Fear
Friend or Foe?
Do you have one of those friends around you who likes you unconditionally and yet throws at you dryly, before drinking from their takeaway coffee,
“That mustache needs to go, mate!”
or
“Dating Rick is such a stupid idea.”
They are blunt. They are unfiltered. They make your heart rate pick up. They make you feel uncomfortable or even angry at that very moment.
And then you go into dialogue with them. Sometimes expressing your reproach. Your anger. You might be defensive. Or you burst out laughing.
Because in the end, this friend means well. And while you two figure things out, this friend might help you more through confrontation and reflection than the one who just smiles, says nothing, or changes the subject.
And that is what your fear is.
A friend that confronts you with an unpleasant subject that is standing in your way. Fear is a part of you and therefore cannot be your enemy to begin with.
Fear either tries to protect you from harm or gives you feedback about where you are not aligned with the Sovereign Being that you truly are.
In my coaching, I support and encourage you to start a dialogue with your fear.
Instead of
- pretending it is not there,
- distracting yourself from it through affirmations or other techniques,
I help you calm your nervous system while we take a closer look at what that fear is trying to tell you.
Where it came from.
What its purpose is.
What it has been trying to save you from.
But also how the way you interact with fear keeps you from thriving and making your dreams come true.
And by the way: “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf
